It is the mark of the internet lefty that his Twitter Profile is a list of mental illnesses. For him, it is frankly a sign of virtue. Before Trans Rights was big, after all, how could a white man be virtuous under that religion except to be disabled? If a physical disability fails to present itself, a mental handicap must make do. And it’s so easy to be depressed. Adopt even half the unnatural premises of post-modernity and you’re most of the way there already.
So it is with some trepidation I discuss the fact that I am clearly ADHD. I am of several minds about this information.
I believe to some degree ADHD is not actually a disorder, but is rather a part of the normal range of human personalities that is ill-suited to the highly unnatural industrial era.
But neither do I make the mistake that lies at the foundation of, e.g., gay rights arguments, that nature is, by mere virtue of being nature, morally good. A man born blind is by nature blind. Blindness is not morally evil, but it is an evil nonetheless. A man born kleptomaniac is by nature inclined to steal. Theft is morally evil.
I think ADHD is natural. Moreover, I think it is not wholly a disorder. I even think much of it is good, and much neutral. You trade the ability to focus for the ability to hyperfocus. You trade the ability stick to a plan for unmatched improvisation. To use a gaming term, you are mentally min-maxed.
There are some genuine moral evils lurking in the wings. As a rule, I don’t make promises, because I know if I do, I will break them. A normal man does not have so much trouble keeping his word. And after spending the last 15 years of my life barely hanging on to a retail job, I’ve spent the last 6 months living on the dole. Neither of these fulfil my responsibilities to protect and provide for my family.
But to a certain degree, how much this is good or bad is irrelevant. Right now I self-medicate with caffeine. If I got enough paperwork cleared to go to a psychiatrist, I could medicate with amphetamines. But I am of the opinion that the American Empire is falling, and her fall will be irrefutable within a decade or two. What then? Maybe life will go on almost exactly the same for me. When Empires fall, there are often provinces that barely notice. But maybe I will have to stalk my food myself, and kill it by hand in a swamp without electricity, internet, or shipping. In which case, not only amphetamines, but also caffeine would be denied me.
So, however much ADHD is a superpower, a collection of attribute min-maxes with benefits and downsides, or my unique expression of the stain of sin left by Adam’s fall, I believe I must find a way to survive and thrive despite it and around it, without regard to any chemical correctives.
For the last few years, my attitude has largely been, “well, I’ve tried and I’ve tried for decades, and never fixed anything. ‘Bout time I just accepted that this is how things will be until I die or Christ returns.”
But my offspring are now showing signs of the same issues.
I’m willing to settle for less for me.
Not so much for them.